The Snake is the 8th Mike Hammer novel, coming right
after The Girl Hunters. Out of the Hammer novels I've read it’s
easily the most problematic. Not that The Girl Hunters was much better,
but at least that one had a certain momentum that managed to make it to the
“socko” ending. The Snake picks up almost directly after the events of The
Girl Hunters, as Mike Hammer finally meets Velda after seven long years
for reasons all covered in The Girl Hunters. Mike Hammer now is
armed with a shady federal status in the form of a badge that he’s quick to
wave under the noses of all the pesky officials and thugs that get in his way.
His friend Pat Chambers is also back on the scene as well. Why they've remained
friends, especially after their big blowout in the previous novel, is a bigger
mystery than anything else. It was
established that they’re both nuts in love with Velda, who could do loads
better than either of them. And Velda really comes off badly in this novel. She
is often described as a big lady with a sexual force that is part woman, part
tigress, and ultimately, all idiot. This exchange between Velda and Mike pretty
much sums up what I mean:
“There’s more to it
than that, baby. Let me do it my way, okay?”
“Sure. It’s always
your way, isn’t it?”
“Sure.”
“Is that why I love
you?”
“Sure.”
“And you love me
because I think that way?”
“Why sure.”
“I’m home, Mike.”
I touched her knee
and felt her leg harden. “You never were away, kid.”
I guess if patter like that doesn't work for Hammer he
could always belt her one. In fact, Velda lets Hammer know in the first
chapter, after their seven year separation, that she’s saved her virginity for
him the whole time. Then she proceeds to spend the rest of the book throwing it
at him while he dodges it like it’s the plague. His reason? That they have to
do it right, with a judge and a license, the whole bit.
 |
| Signet Books, November 1964 |
Mike and Velda have their reunion, get worked up like a
couple school kids, then get busted in on by a couple gun-toting goons who
manage to get blasted all to hell by each other. One manages to get away with a
bullet in his gut, thanks to Hammer, but the other two are left dead at his feet.
On to the mystery then. Velda’s been harboring a girl,
Suzie Torrence, who is in fear for her life. Suzie insists that her mother was
murdered a couple decades before by "The Snake" and now this Snake is after
her. Who the hell is The Snake and why
is he trying to kill Suzie Torrence? Well, first thing is that Suzie insists
that it's really her father who wants her dead. Suzie is the daughter of a political
riser, Sim Torrence, who takes all of one meeting to see that he’s pretty much
a prick. But Hammer can’t see any reason
for wanting his daughter killed. Torrence then hires Hammer to bring Suzie home
and find out just who is after her. It’s kind of fuzzy, because Velda’s still
got Hammer foggy with her feminine juju, and Pat is still pissed off at him and
Suzie is…oh well.
Things proceed that eventually involve a 30-year-old
heist that Sim Torrence prosecuted during his days as a DA. Then there is an old show-girl, and old ex-con and a missing
three million clams that could be the big financial source for some new
syndicate shenanigans hitting the city.
This is the first Hammer novel I've read where he doesn't kick the hell out of someone in it. In fact the few times his life is really
threatened, some wild, completely implausible turn of events save his ass. But
worst of all, whenever a villain has the drop on Hammer, they proceed to get diarrhea
of the mouth, and flap their yap at him, instead of just pulling the trigger.
Sort of like Hammer’s fear of pulling the trigger with Velda.
Finally, the mystery is solved. We discover who The Snake
is about forty pages past caring and Mike Hammer finally seems ready to man up
and give Velda what she’s been so torque up for all these years.
This snake bit its own ass. And the reason I’m hard on it
here is because Spillane normally writes a good fun read.
Will I read more Spillane?
Well sure.
