Sunday, May 4, 2014

Aspen - Burt Hirschfeld

Somehow she worked her way astride him and galloped feverishly on the long uphill trail to glory. Until steed and rider could take no more, ending in a rough, stunning climax. They lurched together, as if to fall was to sink into the most narrowing circles of hell. 

Bantam Books, January 1976

First off I have to put a big thanks out to Joe Kenney and his terrific blog Glorious Trash for turning me on to Burt Hirschfeld's novels. I remember hearing of Fire Island back in the day, which is probably Hirschfeld's most well-known bestseller. But I really had no idea that Hirschfeld had so many novels out there to go and enjoy, including a number of "trashy" delights written under his pseudonym Hugh Barron.

Aspen, published in 1976, follows something of a template that Hirschfeld mastered, that is picking a resort destination somewhere on the map, and throwing in a bunch of twisted, messed up characters into the scene to see what happens. In this case you have a hard-nosed middle-aged developer named Carl Osborne, a beautiful 22-year old poet named Kit Pepe, Osborne's wayward son Jon Osborne, local hero and environmentalist Tom Keating and resident kingpin bad-guy Alex Budde, in addition to an assorted cast of kooks, dope-fiends and villains all running around Aspen trying to screw each other over while stopping to get high and have sex.

I don't think Hirschfeld really intended any of the characters in this somewhat cynical novel to be particularly likable. Sure, Kit Pepe and Tom Keating are the nominal heroes in the story. Unfortunately, Kit Pepe is one of those chicks who always have a trail of guys lined up to kiss her ass, because she's so beautiful and all. I pretty much find 22-year-old poets, especially flawlessly beautiful ones, intensely annoying and Kit is no exception. We've all been subjected to people just like Kit in real life, and I'm willing to bet I'm not alone in my attitude about them. The most difficult choice she's ever faced is which academic setting she should pick to be artist-in-residence at, and which asshole to bang. And you guessed it, she picks old stuffed-suit Carl Osborne to fall in the sack with. In no time flat, big-shot Carl Osborne is ready to leave his wife for the amazing Miss Kit! It's no wonder that his son, Jon Osborne, goes off the deep end about it. Jon has been harboring a crush on the lovely Kit long before his dad showed up in Aspen to cock-block him. Now Jon has to satisfy himself with assorted bimbos from the tennis club where he works as a tennis pro. His sideline, when not lobbing tennis balls at the spoiled and rotten, is running drugs for local crime kingpin Alex Budde.

Alex Budde is something of an entrepreneur in Aspen. He owns a number of legitimate bars, restaurants and businesses while keeping the wild side of the town supplied with plenty of dope and heroin. He's got a bodyguard with him at all times, in addition to a cop on his payroll. He also manages to get Carl Osborne conned into doing business through him with the local politicians and landholders. Carl Osborne has come to Aspen on behalf of The Heggland Group to buy up land for a planned development named Wolf Run Valley. Wolf Run Valley is going to be one of those sprawling nightmares that will attract an onslaught of filthy, squalling, littering, nasty tourists into the town. The kind that come in during the high season and leave the place looking and smelling like a used cat-box when they go. Naturally most of the old time residents aren't too jazzed about having outsiders like Osborne coming into their town pushing their weight around trying to get them to sell their land. They don't want to see their little slice of paradise become another Las Vegas. Osborne isn't bothered by anything so plebeian as what the townfolk want, and doesn't let an opportunity pass to lecture guys like Tom Keating on all the progress developers like him provide the local natives. Luckily, Keating isn't having any of it, which leads our neighborhood crime lord Alex Budde into putting a hit out on him.

This is a fast-moving novel with practically no page filler, except the stuff about Kit weighing all the big decisions she's facing in life. I put it down in a single weekend. Hirschfeld has a real knack for climbing into characters' heads and keeping the action moving. I understand it was a basis for a mini-series starring Sam Elliott. I've never seen it, but there is a good write-up about it on Johnny LaRue's Crane Shot if you're interested.

It's kind of too bad that Burt Hirschfeld's books aren't readily available for contemporary readers through reissues, or e-formats. Luckily, his books aren't hard to find on the used market. Find one and give it a go.

7 comments:

  1. A great review, and thanks for the mention of my blog -- glad you discovered Burt Hirschfeld through it. I picked up Aspen a while back, but have yet to read it. I've never seen the TV series, though I do know the odd story behind it -- it isn't based on Hirschfeld's novel, it's based on some other author's book. However the production company paid Hirschfeld for the rights to the title of his novel..."Aspen." Why they'd have to pay him for the rights to a city name is beyond me. Also, for some interesting Hirschfeld news, I recently received an email from someone who knew him -- if this person is okay with it I hope to include his funny little writeup about the man in my next Hirschfeld review.

    You're correct, most of Hirschfeld's novels follow that same long-simmer formula, but for whatever reason it works. It looks like Charles Beardsley copied the formula, as each of his novels seem to be the same thing -- I picked up "Marina Tower" off of your review but it's yet another one I haven't yet read.

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  2. Joe, thanks again, and am looking forward to the info on Burt Hirschfeld. It is pretty interesting about the Aspen TV deal. His books seem ripe for mini-series adaptations. I really like his novels, the ones I've read so far. I took a copy of TILT! with me on a trip to Mexico City last year and enjoyed it a lot. I'd like to check out more of his Hugh Barron novels. Also, I once had an old Richard Laymon paperback (The Woods Are Dark) years ago and noticed that Burt Hirschfeld blurbed it which struck me as interesting, considering Laymon was a horror writer. I'm wondering if they might have been friends. Thanks again for the comment.

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  3. I just finished reading Aspen and I have to say you summed it up perfectly. I also found the character of Kit Pepe a bit irritating, especially when she gives her near pre-orgasmic account of what it felt like to go hang gliding ("I existed at the apex of life -- the beginning of time, and the end."). Then there was Jon Osborne telling Kit how he "loved to watch [his father] shave or go to the toilet," which was at once icky and hilarious. I found it odd (well, odder) that when Jon elaborates on his envy of his father's endowment he uses the word "penis" rather than "cock," "dick" or any other slang term that a guy in his early 20s would favor.

    Like you, I got turned on to Hirschfeld through the Glorious Trash blog (Hi, Joe!) and I'm happier for it. I found Fire Island to be the stronger novel, but Aspen was a reliably entertaining page-turner with a bit more depth than one would expect from a trashy novel. I noticed on IMDb that some of the character names from Hirschfeld's novel were used in the mini-series even if the storyline came from Bart Spicer's The Adversary, the other novel attached to the mini-series. While the character name Jon Osborne was used in the mini-series, I think it's safe to assume the character's discussion of his father's penis was not.

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    1. Hi John, sorry I'm so late for the reply. Funny observations on Jon's envy of his father. I too liked Fire Island a lot and one day will get around to reading the sequels, Cindy on Fire and Fire in the Embers. One day...

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  4. Again, need to read this one as well. In fact, got myself a bunch of Hirschfelds to go through. So many books so little time...

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    1. I've got a couple others to get to myself. I need a decent beach vacation to take them on.

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  5. I read that novel some time ago, i still remember the phrases "there is simulatenous good and evil in us", "we all need to create monsters to exorcise our evil aspects" had profound effect on me, if i am not wrong, he & david jacobs of Dallas fame are one and same person.

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